Since the legalization of same-sex marriage in 2015, there has been an increase in engagement ring and wedding band sales to soon-to-be wed same-sex couples. JCK Magazine, in collaboration with The Knot, found that in fall of this year, couples in same-sex relationships spent as much on wedding jewelry, including engagement rings and wedding bands, as their heterosexual counterparts.

While has been a significant boon to the wedding jewelry industry, it has also raised questions as to the logistics of same-sex engagements and marriages, as well as how these new frontiers of marriage equality will interact with “traditional” wedding customs.

Below we’ve put together a list of some of often asked questions about same-sex marriages and engagement and wedding jewelry. Hopefully this list can clarify the same-sex marriage experience for couples, allies, and family members:

Note that with any marriage, there are no hard rules. Couples should do whatever makes them feel comfortable. The most important thing is that the soon-to-be newlyweds are happy on their special day.

 

1. Do same-sex couples exchange engagement rings?

Of course! Nothing about being in a same-sex relationship means that a couple can’t revel in the joy of being surprised by their loved one with an unexpected engagement ring.

While modern engagement ring styles tend towards traditionally “feminine” sensibilities, designers are beginning to create engagement rings that transcend and subvert gender norms while remaining as glamorous as more traditional pieces.

Additionally, many bridal fashion designers offer an array of men’s and women’s wedding bands that are wonderfully diamond-adorned, and come in luminous channel- and pave-set eternity band styles. These bands are just as great, still retain a traditionally “masculine” look, and act as an antidote to the traditional engagement ring.

2. How does the exchange of wedding jewelry work with same-sex couples?

Again, this really depends on the couple. Some same-sex couples opt for two engagement rings as well as two wedding bands, while others have chosen just get one engagement ring and to exchange a pair of wedding bands at their wedding ceremony.

A growing tradition among gay men is to have their engagement rings double as their wedding bands and have that rings match their future spouse’s (with maybe variation in stone, band color, or other attributes).

Additionally, it’s not uncommon for two women brides to purchase a set of engagement rings as well as a set of wedding bands.

3. Where should a same-sex couple go to find engagement rings and wedding bands?

Finding the perfect engagement rings and wedding bands is as simple as heading to your local fine jewelry retailer (such as my hometown favorite, Rumanoff’s Fine Jewelry). Nowadays, most jewelry salespeople are no strangers to assisting same-sex couples, and would be more than happy to assist anyone with their various wedding and engagement needs.

That being said, it is always good to have an idea of what you’re looking for before you enter the store. Take time to explore the retailer’s website and see what rings stand out at you. Make a list of what it is that you’re looking for (or not looking for) in wedding and engagement jewelry.

4. Do We Have to Get Matching Rings?

For years, wedding and engagement jewelry designers have been making rings for mixed-gender couples, which were designed to match each other. Typically, these rings are similar in color and materials, yet feature a few small differences and varieties.

With the recent explosion of engagement ring and wedding band fashions (especially men’s wedding bands that are now as diamond-studded as many ladies’ rings) this has begun to change.

So, like most things, it’s really up to the discretion of the couple. Many couples are deciding to get non-matching rings as a way to maintain their individualism and unique personalities, while others find the overwhelming romance of matching rings just too good to pass up.

 

5. One more thing!

Not to overstate it, but all of these guidelines are just that, guidelines!

Ultimately it is up to what makes a couple feel happy and comfortable. While lesbian, gay, and bisexual couples have existed forever, the recent legalization of same-sex marriages means that every same-sex couple gets to renegotiate how their own tastes mesh with their community’s history and the history of engagement and wedding jewelry in the country. There are plenty of opportunities for same-sex couples to borrow from the traditions of the past while adding their own fresh, modern, and unique perspectives.

 

Show us yours!

Tell us about your same-sex marriage! Post pictures of your wedding rings and other wedding pics on our Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter!

~~Until Next Time! – Heather